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I know a man who went to the zoo but they wouldnât let him out,
So hairy was his body that his ancestry was cast into doubt.
He asked to have a lawyer but none of them would take his case,
None of them thought that he had a prayer after looking him in the face.
âI am not an animal,â he pleaded to them, âIâm just a hairy guy,â
âIf youâd only check my DNA youâd know that itâs no lie.â
So a judge ordered that the test be run to see if he was a man,
To confirm once and for all that he belonged to the human clan.
When the results of the test came back and the answer could be seen,
The man was surprised to learn that he carried the grizzly bear gene.
âHmm,â he said as he pondered upon his own reflection in the mirror,
âThis sheds new light on my life and I can see things so much clearer.â
It helps me to understand why it is that when I visit at the park.
I feel the need to scratch my back by rubbing it against tree bark.
And why when I get the urge to eat sea food it always seems to be,
No restaurant ever can serve raw Salmon thatâs fresh enough for me.
It explains why when a driver cut me off as he dialed to make a call,
At the next stop light I pulled him out and devoured him phone and all.
I guess now that I think of it Iâve suspected it for quite some time,
But what can you do if youâre a Grizzly bear? It really isnât a crime.
The court decided that he had a point and that his upbringing was the cause,
But they couldnât bring themselves to remove him from his teeth and claws.
Even though his violent ways were something that couldnât be neglected,
There wasnât much that they could do because his species was protected.
So they tagged his ear and fastened a collar around his neck,
And now his wife and kids can track him by satellite high tech.
Now you might think that this situation for them might be terrible,
But they are all adjusting quite well at least their lives bearable.
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--Submitted by lanet on 2011-05-23.
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Julianne Carlile:
LOL.
Posted 05/24/2011 05:44 AM
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