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After Christmas
Linda Eve Diamond



(A Postscript to The 12 Days of Christmas Song)

In a one-room apartment,
My true love gave to me
Swarms of birds and people
And a whole pear tree!

The partridge alone
Would have been enough
Or a little stocking stuff,
But pregnant geese?
French hens and turtle doves
And more calling birds?
Another four noisy birds!
My sweetheart calls this love?
Swans are swimming in my tub!
Then there were those leaping men.
I don’t care what they’re lords of—
They stomped right on the turtle doves!
And don’t even get me started
On the eight maids a-milking.
The twelve drummers drumming
And eleven pipers piping
Drove me mad at all hours!
Some people send flowers.
Worse, now they’re crashed out
In heaps around the couch
On the milk-stained carpet
With the maids.
I’m standing in the only corner left,
Of energy and sleep bereft. 
Everything’s covered in crap. 
This Christmas traumatized my cat!
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be
On a long return line at Macy’s
With an ugly sweater or hat
And my sanity intact.
From The Beauty of Listening (Aventine Press, 2013)
Used with the author's permission. 


Linda Eve Diamond has published books in multiple genres including poetry, self-help, business, and education. Her latest is The Beauty of Listening, a listening-themed poetry book. Learn more about Linda, who lives in Hollywood, Florida, at




Post New Comment:
True love's message?
Posted 01/06/2014 12:45 PM
Delightful! Thanks.
Posted 01/06/2014 10:44 AM
What fun!
Posted 01/06/2014 07:30 AM
I love this, Linda! I'm signing up for your newsletter.
Posted 01/06/2014 04:49 AM

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