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It's the Fourth a July in a small Texas church,
fulla cowboys, their wives, an' their kids.
All are dressed up in their Sunday best clothes,
an' the cowpokes've took off their lids.
The preacher's up front, jist a talkin' away,
an' the menfolks is startin' to yawn.
Outside, the sun's shinin', a slight breeze is up,
an' birds are at play on the lawn.
Five-year-old Billy Bob Miller is there,
yawnin' like the growed-up men.
He stretches, and shoves both hands in 'is jeans,
an' a idea occurs to 'im then.
He'd fergot that he'd brought 'is new cap gun along
t'help celebrate Fourth-of-July.
He knows that it's wrong, but he takes the thing out,
to give it jist one little try.
He points that gun to the ceiling and squeezes
the trigger, an' squeezes again.
Now, I guess you know ever'body wakes up,
includin' the sleepy ol' men.
Then Billy Bob's maw takes a hold of 'is hand
an' his pistol, it falls to the floor.
She yanks him up offa that hard, wooden bench,
an' heads with 'im straight fer the door.
Some folks is a laughin', an' others is stunned.
Imagine, a cap gun in church!
The pastor sez, "You have my blessin' Miz Miller,
t'give him a taste of the birch."
The chief usher sez, "Now don't whip the young man.
I'll explain, if you'll lend me yer ears.
This boy scared the Devil outta more folks jist now,
than our pastor in twenty-two years!"
© by Hal Swift.
Used with the author's permission.
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Hal Swift (1928 - 2016) was born in Speedway City, Indiana, on the 25th anniversary of the Wright brothers' flight at Kitty Hawk. When he was eight years old, his family moved to Phoenix, Arizona, where, as a teenager, Hal learned to play a bass fiddle. He worked with local cowboy musicians such as Marty Robbins, and played with the Phoenix Concert Orchestra. He went on to become a popular radio host and was inducted into the Nevada Broadcast Association Hall of Fame after a 50-year career. That career took a different direction, briefly, while Hal served in the U.S. Navy as a Morse code radio operator. Hal's diverse interests included martial arts, building model ships and airplanes, cartooning, semantics and, of course, writing.
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Darrell Arnold:
I'm laffin'! I know a few folks who just have that kind of adventure in them that they like to see how people react to a shakeup in their lives. The great cowboy rodeo star Casey Tibbs was one of those folks. Always ready to play a practical joke just to stir things up. He never did worry about consequences. Hal's story reminds me of a whole bunch of Tibbs stories. Hal is a clever poet, too, by the way. Nicely crafted, including cowboy writin' to tell it best.
Posted 07/04/2025 08:41 AM
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