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Phylis Warady


Who spilt what on the rug?
Leaving that ghastly stain, ugh.
"Not me, not me, not me!"
Who let the toilet overflow?
"Don’t look at me. I don’t know.
It certainly wasn’t me!"
Who ate the Oreos? The crackers?
Categorically all deny they’re snackers.
"Not me, not me, not me!"
My angelic children all agree
With enviable serenity,
Whatever the calamity,
"It wasn’t me!"
And what I want to know
Is where did the culprit go?

© by Phylis Warady. 

This poem has appeared previously in Family Pictures (Capital Bookfest, 2007), 
The Writing Parent, Rainy Day Corner, Preserving Christian Homes, 
St. Anthony Messenger, The Funny Paper
, and
The Lutheran Digest. 
Used here with the author's permission.


With three children under the age of five, Phylis Warady began to write to save her sanity. While her first love is short fiction, to stave off hunger pangs she also writes historical novels set in Regency England. Her latest is Virtue and Vice, published by Cerridwen Press. Phylis lives in northern California; learn more about her here.

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