My Cart 


J. Patrick Lewis

“The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads.”
                                                             Bloomsburg Business Week
I was reading The Atlantic
“Where Pedantic Meets Semantic”—
When the screen began its frantic
     Blinking, and it wouldn’t stop. 
Something mindless—Would I like a
Lesson on a balalaika?
Granite, laminate, formica—
     Your Home Depot, where to shop.
So I found myself star-gazing 
At New Yorker verse—amazing,
That impenetrable phrasing,
     When it started up again:
Monitor beamed up more folly,
Try a Taco Bell tamale.
In the toolbar, Hello, Dolly
     (Dolly’s a Parisienne).
Potash—wonder cure for cancer.
Morgan Stanley has the answer.
Find your inner belly dancer—
     Click on Rock and Roll, and scroll.
Oh, if only some inventor
Could defeat this shopping center
With a Pop-ups-Dare-Not-Enter-

This poem first appeared in Light Quarterly.
Used with the author’s permission.


J. Patrick Lewis has served as the U.S. Children's Poet Laureate for the past 2 years. Author of 80 children’s picture/poetry books and veteran of more than 500 visits to elementary schools around the world, J. Patrick spent many years as an economics professor before becoming a fulltime writer. A resident of Westerville, Ohio, he is a twin, a fact he says "has shaped my life indelibly and delightfully from the womb." J. Patrick is also the author of a collection of poetry for adults, Gulls Hold Up the Sky, and a nonfiction book for teachers. Learn more about him at

Post New Comment:
Gilbert Allen:
Funny and clever! Trochaic tetrameter works very well with all those polysyllabic rhymes.
Posted 07/15/2013 11:31 AM
I like the rhythm and the rhyming, and you speak to the topic so well! I gave up trying to rhyme my response.):)
Posted 07/15/2013 09:21 AM
Marilyn L Taylor:
This is a tour-de-force, J. Patrick Lewis. Wish I knew you!
Posted 07/15/2013 09:03 AM
You "hit the mole on the head" with this one!! I love rhyming and humor! Love this poem!! Thanks.
Posted 07/15/2013 08:51 AM
A treat to read this fun poem!
Posted 07/15/2013 08:00 AM
What fun! We see so little rhyme these days, and you handle it splendidly--perfect and fresh. A great way to start the day--Thanks!
Posted 07/15/2013 07:59 AM
How very lovely to read this on a morning dark and dank with rain that threatens once again!
Posted 07/15/2013 07:36 AM
I'm snickering a bit...the ad at the bottom of the page right now is for granite countertops. It's almost as if the web page knew you had them in your poem! Oh. Right. It DOES. As always, spot-on perfect, Pat!
Posted 07/15/2013 04:12 AM
This transcends my resistance to both puns and quatrains. Thank you J Patrick!
Posted 07/15/2013 04:07 AM

Contents of this web site and all original text and images therein are copyright © by Your Daily Poem. All rights reserved.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Purchasing books through any poet's Amazon links helps to support Your Daily Poem.
The material on this site may not be copied, reproduced, downloaded, distributed, transmitted, stored, altered, adapted,
or otherwise used in any way without the express written permission of the owner.