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How, I wonder,
did I become so small
in comparison to you
you, who I birthed and nursed
and rushed to the hospital
on countless nights
when you couldn't breathe
and worried
and stayed up late to read you to sleep
and protected you
tried to protect you
from the man who agreed
to be, to be
but wasn't, never was
your father.
Now you all grown
your only desire
to be, to be
what you never had
nothing more important than being a dad
a good dad
you give me a reluctant hug
when I visit
sit silently with me
find conversation difficult
give a critical gaze
questions
no, accusations
hang in the air.
I tell you I'm so sorry
what can I do now
I was but a child myself
but it's inadequate.
I tell you how much I love you
have always loved you
and you know it's true
but forgiveness is too hard
and not deserved
and forgetting is not possible
those shortcomings from so long ago
hang around my neck
like a noose.
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--Submitted by nancilee on 2011-04-19.
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lanet:
Wisdom comes with age but age comes with bruises.
Posted 04/20/2011 03:14 PM
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Julianne Carlile:
I wonder how many parents feel this way? A very good poem by the way.
Posted 04/20/2011 05:43 AM
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