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Own Two Feet
by
Brenda Girolamo |
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I went for a walk
upon getting out of bed,
and I met an old man
hopping on one leg.
His body was contorted,
his face very tense,
and I opened my mouth
despite sounding dense.
"Excuse me, sir.
I don't mean to pry,
but why don't you give
your other leg a try?"
"Absolutely, not!
Your request is insane;
I've gone my whole life
in need of this pain!
~
When I was young
I ran on both feet,
but was made an outcast
and left on the street.
~
Now after so long
I am blind with my struggle,
and changing my mind
would mean only trouble!"
"I assure you," I said,
"that you'll gain new sight,
if you put your foot down
and embrace its delight."
"I'll never change my story!
I can't take that chance!"
And he hopped away angry
with no second glance.
As I continued back home,
the air smelled so sweet —
and I ran in the freedom
of my own two feet!!
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--Submitted by BGirolamo on 2011-11-22.
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Amber:
I enjoyed this. Its depth sneaks up on ya ;)
Posted 04/26/2013 10:52 AM
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George Wentz:
I really like this poem from beginning to end. It is like a parable with the moral of the story left up to thoughtful deliberation by the reader, with different possible interpretations each time I read it!
Posted 11/23/2011 05:55 PM
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ericmaguscloud:
I really enjoy the visuals in this piece. I love how you incorporated the theme element through the learning by the narrator. I don't know if the partial rhyme in stanza one lines one and three works with the rest of the piece. your rhyme scheme is so strong it is almost seusian, that is a compliment btw, and i feel those lines takes from that music. I love that music as we are on that because it reinforces the message of the piece. I love how you captured the wisdom of age in all its insanity. the old man could esily be a projection of the narrator and a forewarning to the struggles they will overcome to be handicapped, or rather settle with reality, on one leg. I love the determination of the narrator to live beyond that potential future.
I do also enjoy the front theme of offering help to those who have been burned merely to be rejected and to gain confidence by it. I feel the first two stanzas are your weakest in this poem. the voice of the old man is perfect. I have past many homeless men as stubborn as this and took away a great lesson to enjoy my own life and never take it for granted and end up like that old man dropping his panhandling money on booze and pornography.
I enjoyed this poem greatly and thank you for sharing it. hope i came a little close in what i said and it helps a little if at all. if nothing else, you know someone read it.
Posted 11/22/2011 05:03 PM
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