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I Live Exposed
by
Julianne Carlile |
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I live where I am displayed along
A road where many go.
The traffic is loud as rock music;
My windows see the show.
I hate to go out in front of it,
The building where I live:
The gray ambiance out there is lit
With neuroses to give.
All feeling drains out of my heart
Sometimes when safe inside,
And I feel exposed and apart
Like the sand at low tide.
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--Submitted by Julianne Carlile on 2011-01-26.
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Julie Carlile:
Thanks, Phyllis. Perhaps you could show me what you came up with!
Posted 09/09/2013 05:15 AM
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Phyllis Beckman:
In answer to your question, I pretended it was my poem and revised and revised until it "fit" me. I only do that with important poems...poems with promise.
Posted 02/07/2011 04:52 PM
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Phyllis Beckman:
I've enjoyed "playing with" this poem. You'll be amused to learn that I have spent hours with it....it has been well worth the time. :-)
Posted 01/31/2011 04:58 AM
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cbaustin:
I like the idea of windows bearing witness... and the rhyme thing is your mind playing tricks on you, you know it's supposed to rhyme- therefore it does
Posted 01/27/2011 09:37 AM
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lanet:
Don't you love it? When your poems are what put you on display it is hard if you give too much away.
Posted 01/27/2011 06:17 AM
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Julianne Carlile:
Isn't it strange? I just realized that I didn't rhyme lines 1 and 3, which I was supposed to do. How could I be looking at this poem all this time and not realize that?
Arrrgh!!!!
Posted 01/27/2011 04:14 AM
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